by Freddy J. Nager, Founder of Atomic Tango LLC + Social Media Realist
Are you oppressed by a bloodthirsty dictator? Do you want freedom and democracy without having to fight for them? Well, now you can harness the same power that’s made Ashton Kutcher and Justin Bieber leaders of their respective generations! It’s as easy as 1, 2, 3…
- Start a Twitter account
- Engage in conversations
- Build relationships
A few tweets later, and you’ll depose that despot who’s been dominating you for decades!
But wait, there’s more…
To gain that critical foreign support, turn to Facebook and do the following:
- Ask everyone to change their profile pictures to a color or cartoon character
- Encourage them to like your revolution page
- Circulate an e-petition
Just do that and — boom goes the dynamite! — your nascent democracy will suddenly receive billions of dollars in aid (no strings attached!), fresh water in remote villages, challenging schools taught by compassionate instructors, and good paying jobs with benefits, including dental! (Workers of Wisconsin not eligible.)
You see, social media cures everything. So just apply it once per day, and you’ll be revolting in no time!
Note: Batteries and internet service or even computers not included. Nor are thousands of awe-inspiring brave unarmed people willing to absorb truncheons or bullets for a cause. Nor are disgruntled military units willing to switch sides. If you have an insurrection lasting more than four hours, please seek medical attention.