by Freddy J. Nager, Founder of Atomic Tango + Guy Who Likes To Think He’s Cultured But Digs On Watching The Walking Dead…
I blame Jane Eyre.
Although it’s supposedly one of the great works of literature, having to read it for my 10th grade English class made me feel like I was locked in an attic somewhere, going totally mad as the pages plodded on, while screaming, “OH COME ON, JANE – JUST STAND UP FOR YOURSELF ALREADY AND PUNCH SOMEONE!”
Who knew I was a budding feminist at 15?
Years later I’m sitting through some arthouse period pieces, those Merchant-Ivory dramas of manners, where British people just can’t bring themselves to say how they really feel, so they live their entire lives oppressed and repressed, and I’m gasping inside and wishing A FREAKING SWORD FIGHT WOULD BREAK OUT!
And, lo, it appears my wishes have been granted and my fantasies fulfilled…
Of course, turnabout is fair play, and I’d dig a Shakespearean makeover of the unwatchably laborious Fear The Walking Dead.
I’ll have my deep-fried popcorn and glass of Chablis ready.